I have had the same circle of friends for over a decade. The people who are my best friends now are the same people who were my best friends ten years ago. I have never felt the need to expand my circle. My friends have other friends they have made within the time we have been friends but I haven’t really gone out of my way to add to my personal circle. I have the best set of friends ever and I’m content with them. I’m a walking manifestation of the Drake song, No New Friends.
I’m an asocial social butterfly (asocial is what we call in Ghana antiso). When I’m out, I’m likeable and annoying. I make people laugh and feel good and sometimes make them want to strangle me. I take numbers and never call. I’m notorious for don’t pick calls. I don’t like texting much either. Because of this, I have a very small circle. I know people and people know me but I don’t have any relationship with them.
On Saturday night I came back from hanging out with my boys, the Psalm 23 boys, and got stranded. I have locked myself out and the spare key is with my landlady who wasn’t home. It was pass 12 midnight and I needed a place to crush for the night. That’s when I realised I don’t have any friends in my neighborhood.
In my neighborhood, people know me. I’m cool with all my neighbors. I have never had a single issue with any of my neighbors. One of my neighbors calls me Osofo (pastor) not because I’m particularly churchy but because I’m a nice person. In spite of my good relationship with my neighbors, I have never had more than 5-minute conversation with any of my neighbors (Okay, that one girl I was trying to…never mind… and the guy who comes to me for rap albums doesn’t count because I don’t even though his house). When I got stranded, I needed someone to crush with. I couldn’t think of any one of my neighbors because I have not invested enough friendship with anyone for me to be able to call them for help. In my head, I’m solid. I have never needed anything from my neighbor and will never need anything from them till I did.
Adulting lesson learnt. It’s important to build relationships with your neighbors because you don’t know when you will need to borrow salt. Be involved in people’s lives. Know about them. Ask about their lives. Be in on the neighborhood gossips. If you are not gossiping with your neighbors, they are gossiping about you. When you need something urgently, do you have a neighbor you can call? Be friends with your neighbors today.