I have a friend called Kwame. Kwame has money. He’s probably the richest person my age I know personally. He does great things for his wife. He has thrown two birthday parties for her, taken her on trips and bought her a car better than his.
Last week, when I posted my article, “An Honest Conversation about Marriage”, he hit me up. He was of the opinion that you don’t need money to have a happy married. My reply was, “You have spoken like a true rich man.”
Hey Young World, if a rich man tells you you don’t need money to do anything, he is lying!
His comeback was, “My wife and I don’t spend koraa oooo. We are always around each other, bro. We don’t need to go out. We love watching movies indoors and doing our own things. We could go a whole week without even moving a car.”
I have spent many days in Kwame’s house and I know he’s speaking the truth. Sometimes I can be in his hall for a whole day and not see he or his wife come out of their bedroom once. Despite the fact that he’s being honest, he left out the fact that he doesn’t have to go out to work because he can run his businesses from his phone. That’s some rich nigga shit.
There’s a role money plays in making life easy for us. From our conversation, we both came to that conclusion. He said, “The hard truth is that, you need to make enough money and have a consistent stream of income before you get married if not, you will suffer proper.”
That’s why in the original article, I said I will be getting married in 5 years. I still have a year to complete my law degree, then two years to complete Law School, which gives me two years to settle down before bringing someone’s daughter (praying it is The Empress) to my home.
Most articles about marriage online are targeted at women. My original article was a conversation between guys for guys. My rich friend understood that and he pointed out something we didn’t add, that will be beneficial to other young men.
He said, “Most young hustling men between the ages of Twenty-five (25) and Thirty-five (35) seeking marriage have a net salary ranging between One Thousand Ghana Cedis (GHC1,000) and Three Thousand Ghana Cedis (GHC3,000). No married man can take care of his home, his wife and himself on a salary of One Thousand and Five Hundred Ghana Cedis (GHC1,500). (Mike will say, that’s why you need Multiple Financial Streams). A lot of women these days see marriage as a refuge from financial hardship, bro. They don’t bring much to the table, just their bodies.
The thing is, you guys will grow financially if your woman works and earns enough to take care of herself and save for herself. Guys who know this fact mostly want an independent woman. Let me out it this way, if you are a young hustling guy and seeking marriage, the best thing is to find a young hustling woman who is not moved by things she sees on Instagram, knows how to save and is financially-wise.”
The richest man in the world, Jeff Bezos, and his wife just filed for divorce. That shows money is not the only thing you need to have a happy marriage. Another thing you need is romance. Romance means different things to different people. I’m a poet so people will expect me to say romance is serenading your love with beautiful words. I do do that but I don’t think that’s all romance takes. My definition of romance is the one shared by Urban Dictionary. “True romance is doing something special or unexpected for someone you love, even though you don’t have to. Romance isn’t a greeting card, it isn’t Valentine’s Day, it isn’t a box of chocolates (Hold up, I disagree with this. A box of Made in Ghana chocolate is always romantic), and it certainly isn’t a dozen roses (unless you like that sort of thing). Real romance is not what modern society has been taught to think it is. Real romance isn’t manufactured. It is completely individual. Romance is for showing the person you love that you’re thinking about them.”
Kanye West did something “romantic” for his wife again on Valentine’s Day. He brought Kenny G into his home to perform for his wife over some nicely-arranged flowers. I saw a tweet that said, “I will be as romantic as Kanye if I had Kanye money.” Of course, it cost Kanye money to do that for his wife but that’s not what made him romantic. It’s the thought that made him romantic.
A poorer Kanye has done equally romantic gestures. Talib Kweli said Kanye used to give him free beats, when he was upcoming, so he, Talib Kweli, will surprise Kanye’s girl at the time because he, Talib Kweli, is her favorite rapper.
In Dr. Donda West, Kanye’s mother’s book, Raising Kanye, she wrote about Kanye’s accident. In her account, when Kanye’s car crushed, he called his girlfriend to inform her before he passed out. That’s probably because his girl’s number was on speed dial so he easily accessed it and called her, living in Chicago, to tell her he was dying, when he could have called someone in Los Angeles who could help him. Its romantic that when Kanye thought he was about to die, the first thing that came on his mind is, “The last thing I should do before dying is talk to my girl.”
Money doesn’t change you, it amplifies who you are. Kanye has always had a romantic mind, his money helped him express it better. Practice makes perfect. If you are with a lady now, you have the change to practice how to be romantic. Think about ways to make your lady happy. The more you give it a thought, the more you get good at being romantic.
I was in my friend, Nana Kwame’s house a week to his wedding anniversary. I was playing Scrabble with another friend and his wife was our “accurate timekeeper” and score-recorder. She was watching Whatsapp statuses while we played. She said, “11 months and 3 weeks? What does that mean?” “Is that not how long you have been married?” I answered, like a Ghanaian. Her husband, Kwame, had updated his status with just that number. She was so blown away by that, she left us and joined him in their bedroom immediately. I don’t know what happened in there but I know showing your partner she’s on your mind with any small gesture is romance. Romance is how you keep excitement in your marriage or love relationship. BOOM.